Deconstructing Henlee

Hello trusty people, I am very sorry it's taken me so long to come up with something. I have been busy, true, and lazy, true, and behind the program.
I guess the real exciting thing going on is that I'm finally working a bit. Woo. My life used to be like this:But now, I'm happy to say, your friend is looking at this kind of situation:
And how has something like this happened? Well, I've always done (little) and thought (lots) that I could just continue tutoring English to Koreans for a part-time job. I've got experience and skillz that make me a worthwhile tutor. The problem has been, however, in the lack of students in my life. Last year I tutored one (1) girl for a couple months and then she left. I'd tried advertising last year and more this year and just couldn't get anyone interested. My girlfriend had even advertised on websites for Koreans living in Brisbane (there are heaps!). Well one day, I decided to check out this so called website that she was using and saw there were definitely people looking for tutors. As it unraveled that she had been using a shite website and I had stumbled upon gold, we quickly posted an advertisement and the requests for tutoring poured in. I've had to deny more students than I could have dreamed of! (6). What I enjoyed almost as much as accepting offers and getting monies was reading the emails of people at various levels of English-bility.

i`ve been iooking for tutor on sunbrisbane for weeks and i found your e-mail.
but i don`t know..how much my english improved..especially i`m weak writing..
i left roughly a month for exam.
if it`s possible, can u send e-mail to me.
i wonder how much is an hour?
thanks for reading....

Not too bad - this is the English level I like to teach... has some skill but definitely can improve. It translates to an easy gig for mineself.

hi

we're korean couple.

we're looking for a tutor.

if you're available now, we wanna study with you 5 times a week seperated each other.

but first, i have a question.

if we will study with you, how much do we have to pay for you per hour?

we're student so we can't afford to pay you lots of money.

we wanna pay you less than $15 per hour if it's possible.

if you're interested in our proposal, please contact us.

(our proposal is negotiable a little bit)

i hope to hear from you soon.

These guys may have had the English it takes... but that's about it. First of all, I wish I had the time to teach 5 times a week separately - But I don't. Also, teaching couples together is awesome because it's slightly less work for more money. Also, it's funny how they mention paying "less than $15 per hour" because that's approximately minimum wage in this country. I charge 25, baby.

Hello~ ^-^

My name is aram Lee n I’m Korean.

I saw your advertisement on sun Brisbane.

I’m looking for tutor.

I wanna study about speaking n writting.

I finished upper-inter level in general English course before.

I want to be active talker who can speak very well about society n culture n politics.

Actually I have a casual job. So I can’t study at same time every week.

I can decide our time table once a week. Of course it’ll be decide with your agreement.

I wanna study 2~3 times a week. N I’m living south Brisbane. I wanna study near city or my place.

If you think I’m alright to be your student, please contact me with ur detail(pay n about you n…..)

I actually took on this student since she seemed to be after something a bit more interesting than the usual essay-help that I have to do. Chatting about intellectual stuff and learning good vocabulary and junk is good. Here's a forceful email:

HELLO THIS IS PHILIP FROM KOREA.
I SAW UR POST WHICH IS LOOKING FOR A STUDENT ON THE INTERNET.
I'M INTERESTED IN THAT.
I WAS JUST GONNA SAY THAT WHERE WE HAVE A CLASS AND HOW MUCH IT COSTS PER AN HOUR?
YOUR EMAIL REPLY WOULD BE MUCH APPRICIATED..

Nope!

I`m looking for English tutor.
we are couple.
we want leaning english to you.
if you can teach us, call me plz

I know that that email was terrible, but I actually took these guys on for the aforementioned reasons of mo' money less work that comes with couples. They are nicer in real life.

Hi
Acutally, i need tutor because i wanna go to an university.
So i have to learn IELTS
Are you help me about i will pass IELTS
first of all i want that i can study English at over 7pm Mon to Thur
However, at the weekend, i can at 6pm
do you do that?
please help me
maybe The pay is $20 a week
Is it ok?

IELTS is a big exam that people have to take. It's a main focus for foreigners wanting to study at an English-speaking university. I didn't take on this student but I thought the email was cute.

Hello Michael

My name is Inki

I got information you are looking for English tutoring from internet site (actually my wife said to me about it)

I need a English tutor (especially writing) for my son(year 8)

Here are some details about my son

His name is Jason

Korean

Highschool student, year 8

He has been studing here Australia a little over one year

We live in a townhouse(Pedstow view) in Eight Mile Plains

4 zone but very near to Bus HighWay, it takes about 25 minutes from city

and bus stop is infront of the town house( route 150)

I included this one not because the English is necessarily funny but because the story kind of is. This guy's wife called my girlfriend immediately after I posed the advertisement (there were as many calls as emails) and, according to Hyeshin, was a bit rude. After we were informed that she lives far out of the city (zone 4 = bus/train zone in terms of distance and therefore fee) we told her that I was sorry but couldn't teach her son. So early the next morning I get this email from the husband, trying to be more polite and trying to sell me about how easy it is to get to their house. I'm sorry, Inki, but I am spoiled by my beautiful bicycle and how it takes me less than 10 minutes to get to the city where everyone else wants a class.

So I guess that's it about the work-front. Everything else has been more or less the same. I went out with friends to a terrible Thai restaurant over a week ago and I'm still steaming about that. But I did get a free dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant last weekend (a friend has a credit card from her company and gets restaurant meals tax-deducted or something that I don't understand but don't argue with). Last night was the Ultimate Frisbee semi-finals. We lost by 1 point. Sad. But it wasn't my fault (normally it is) so I didn't care that much. I have a midyear exam in 2 weeks. Still cooking a lot. Etc.
Jesus, I didn't know that!1
Fistula. Just the word is gross, isn't it? What it is defined as is a communicating tract between two organs, essentially. It can be congenital or as a result of some disease process that you get. People with inflammatory bowel disease can get these, especially. You can get pretty much any kind of connection which, in a body that is pretty tightly regulated, can result in some bad stuff. You can get a gastrocolic fistula (gastro = stomach, colic = colon) which results in some pretty nasty breath. Can I interest you in a rectovesical fistula (recto = rectum, vesical = bladder)? You essentially shit and fart (fecouria and pnuemouria, respectively) out of your urethra. For the ladies, how 'bout a rectovulva fistula (vulva = vulva)? You can use your imagination for the kind of discharge that you get. Besides for being really gross, they can totally kill you, which some might say is worse than pooping out of your pee-hole.
Medical Word of the Post:
tenesmus = the feeling of incomplete evacuation after defecation.